My How the Time (and Bullets) Fly: Our Review of "Underworld: Blood Wars" (2017)

Directed By: Anna Foerster 

Starring: Kate Beckinsale, Theo James, Tobias Menzies, Charles Dance, Lara Pulver

Rated: R for strong bloody violence and some sexuality

Run Time: 91 minutes

Synopsis: Called back into action with the promise of clemency for her prior crimes, Selene (Kate Beckinsale) returns to her Coven to train a new army of vampires as they look to defend themselves from Marius (Tobias Menzeis), a dangerous and organized Lycan leader. Not all is as it seems however, forcing Selene and David (Theo James) to seek out a distant Coven in the hopes of surviving - and possibly ending - the long-running Vampire/Lycan war.

REVIEW

Andrew: Hello dear readers! Yes it's true, we are BACK with a review for the first time in a few months. Quite honestly we've been looking for an inspiration to get us back into our movie reviewing groove again. Then we started seeing commercials for Underworld: Blood Wars, the latest entry in the Kate Beckinsale-led Underworld franchise and we just knew we needed to review it. How could we not when the first FIRST review we did five years ago here on Two Tickets For... was for Underworld: Awakening?

And so we're back! Sarah, in general we actually quite enjoy the Underworld movies for what they are: stylish and ridiculous action films about the war between vampires and Lycans (the series' term for werewolves).

Now that we've seen Underworld: Blood Wars, what did you think of the latest entry in the series?

Sarah: Well it was definitely something! This new installation to the franchise was a little lacking for me. While we were sitting there I started to think that there was a lot of talking happening. They kept going back and explaining everything that has happened over the course of all the films. For some reason it just seemed like a lot of talking. When I go see the Underworld  movies I go for the action, not the deep intellectual stimulation. While there was some action, it just was lacking in comparison to the previous films. 

Am I being too critical? What did you think?

Wholly Unnecessary Unless You Love Kate Beckinsale: Our Review of "Total Recall" (2012)

Directed By: Len Wiseman (Underworld) 

Starring: Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Biel, Bryan Cranston

Rating: PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action, some sexual content, brief nudity, and language

Run Time: 1 hour, 58 minutes

Synopsis: Doug Quaid (Farrell) is a factory worker who wishes for a better life for him and his wife, Lori (Beckinsale). After a recurring dream where he's a spy working with another woman (Biel), he goes against the advice of a friend and visits Rekall - a business that can give you false memories for entertainment. Before he can get  a spy memory implanted in him, all hell breaks loose as it appears he truly is a spy, his wife turns into an intelligence operative who tries to kill him, and he joins forces with his dream girl. But what is real and what is Rekall?

REVIEW

Andrew: Hello readers! Tonight Sarah and I hit the theatre to catch Len Wiseman’s remake of the classic 1990 Arnold Schwarzenegger film Total Recall. This time around we get Colin Farrell in Arnold’s lead role of Doug Quaid; Kate Beckinsale as Lori, Quaid’s wife (or is she) originally played by Sharon Stone; and Jessica Biel as Melina, a woman who may or may not know who Quaid really is.

Sarah, this was the main film we previewed this week, and I’m the only one of us who has seen the original version directed by Paul Verhoeven, so I have some bit of reference to go off of here. But you haven’t seen the original so you kind of went into this fresh. So I want to get your take on what it was like going in having no knowledge of it other than what you’ve seen in promotions. (FAIR WARNING, SPOILERS AHEAD IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN EITHER VERSION)

Sarah: I went into it not having super high expectations but I was kind of excited to see it because it seemed like a cool action flick. I was thinking it was going to be a cerebral thriller, not knowing what was real and what was fake. It was definitely what you said it would be in the preview – a gun-slinger movie. It was very action-packed. There was actually very little of the movie that was NOT action-packed. Which for a Len Wiseman movie you come to expect.

Our Preview of This Week's New Releases (for Friday, August 3rd)

Andrew: Hello readers! It’s time once again for our weekly preview, but this one promises to be a short one. There are only two wide releases this week – Len Wiseman’s remake of the classic Arnold Schwarzenegger film Total Recall, and a third installment in the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series.

Sarah, let’s start with the bigger of the two, Total Recall. For those unfamiliar with the original film, the remake appears to be pretty similar.

It stars Colin Farrell as a workingman named Doug Quaid (previously played by AH-nuld). He’s unhappy with his blue-collar job and yearns for a more exciting life. Going against the advice of his co-workers he goes to a business called Rekall who offer to implant false memories in you for a recreational experience. From there all hell breaks loose as he can’t tell if he’s truly the spy it appears he is, or if it’s all just the memory given to him by Rekall. (Check out the trailer below.)

Official Trailer for Total Recall

Sarah, you’ve never seen the original so what are your thoughts on the premise of this film?