Disney's Pirates of the Old West is a Jumbled Mess: Our Review of "The Lone Ranger" (2013)

Directed By: Gore Verbinski (Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl) 

Starring: Johnny Depp, Armie Hammer, William Fichtner, Tom Wilkinson, James Badge Dale

Run Time: 2 hours, 29 minutes

Rating: PG-13 for sequences of intense action and violence, and some suggestive material

Synopsis: Set in 1930's San Francisco, an old Tonto (Depp) regales a kid with the tale of The Lone Ranger - a former lawyer named John Reid (Hammer) who heads home to Texas to join his Ranger brother, Dan (Dale). While tracking down escaped criminal Butch Cavendish (Fichtner), John, his brother and his rangers are ambushed, killing everyone. John is brought back from the dead by Tonto, rechristened The Lone Ranger, and they team up to carry out the task of catching Cavendish, but wind up discovering a deeper plot involving the Transcontinental Railroad and railroad tycoon Latham Cole (Wilkinson).

REVIEW

Andrew: Hello readers! Continuing our task of catching up on reviews we’ve been late on posting, today Sarah and I are discussing this month’s big blockbuster, and utter box-office flop, The Lone Ranger starring Johnny Depp as Tonto and Armie Hammer (The Social Network) in the title role.  The Lone Ranger is a bit of a reuniting of the crew that brought us the hugely successful original three Pirates of the Caribbean movies, particularly with Depp and director Gore Verbinski coming together again after Verbinski sat out Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.

So this was Disney’s big film of the summer, hoping that this group of people could put together another successful franchise based on the old radio and television show. Sarah, now that we’ve seen The Lone Ranger, what did you think of this new attempt at a franchise?

Sarah: I thought that it was a feast for the senses, but that’s about it. It was action-packed and it was the Johnny Depp Show to the max, but as far as storyline? And character development? I thought it was incredibly weak. What did you think?

A: Well, I think you’re right, that’s it’s totally full of action, especially the last half of the film. But, yeah, the storyline isn’t the strongest and I understand they had to kind of set this up; it’s really starting from scratch pretty much as they’re trying to market this to an audience and a generation that doesn’t really know the Lone Ranger, or even care about the Lone Ranger.

The Full-Length Trailer for "The Lone Ranger" Just Rode Into Town!

Andrew: Hello readers, I'm back with our second big trailer of the day, and this one is for next summer's big Johnny Depp action-adventure film, The Lone Ranger. After what seemed like years of development hell, and skyrocketing production costs while they filmed it, we finally received a teaser trailer a couple months ago showing Armie Hammer (The Social Network) in the title role and Depp as his famous sidekick, Tonto. Check it out and I'll chat about my quick takes on it after the jump:

The First Teaser Trailer for Disney's The Lone Ranger Is Here!

Andrew: Hello readers! We have a new review coming out later today but before that's finished, we figured we'd post the first teaser trailer for a movie we're both pretty excited to see next year - Gore Verbinski's The Lone Ranger, starring Armie Hammer (The Social Network) in the title role and my favorite actor, Johnny Depp, as Tonto!

The Lone Ranger has been an interesting topic in Hollywood for a few years now because of production delays due to a huge budget that Disney didn't want to pay, then it finally started production with a smaller budget that quickly ballooned up to what the original one was supposed to be, early pictures of Hammer and Depp in character where Tonto is wearing a bird on his head causing some concern, and of course the rumors that there will be some sort of magical werewolves involved in the plot. Yikes.

So check out the trailer below and let us know how you think it looks!



All of that said, it's being made and and I have be to honest - this trailer has soothed a few of my fears. It looks far less campy than the last few Pirates of the Caribbean films. All I'm asking for is a fun, action-driven Western, and word of mouth out of L.A. is that The Lone Ranger actually has Disney execs excited over what it could do for the Western genre.

The Lone Ranger stars Armie Hammer, Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter and Tom Wilkinson (who has a pretty sweet voice-over in this trailer). It's slated for release on July 3rd, 2013.

A Classic Soap Sharpens It Teeth: Our Review of "Dark Shadows" (2012)

Directed By: Tim Burton

Starring: Johnny Depp, Michelle Pfeiffer, Eva Green, Chloe Grace Moretz

Rating: PG-13 for comic horror violence, sexual content, some drug use, language and smoking

Synopsis: In the 1770s, young Barnabas Collins (Depp), the heir of a wealthy New England fishing company, breaks a witch's heart (Green). In turn the witch kills Barnabas' love, Josette, turns him into a vampire and locks him away in a coffin. 200 years later Barnabas is released and finds that his family estate is in shambles thanks to the same witch. He then makes it his mission to restore his family to it's former glory, defeat the witch, and maybe even fall in love with the family's governess, Victoria, who looks eerily similar to his former lover.

REVIEW

Andrew: Hello readers! It’s a new movie Friday, as Sarah and I ran to the theatres late this afternoon to see the newest film from one of our favorite actors, Johnny Depp (Pirates of the Caribbean), in Tim Burton’s Dark Shadows!

Sarah, Dark Shadows is the EIGHTH collaboration between Depp and Burton, and there have been a lot of mixed reviews of their most recent ones, most saying that the two need to probably take a break creatively. After seeing their latest film, what do you have to say about those critics?

Sarah: My feelings are a little mixed on it. Whereas I believe that their creative well is starting to run a little dry, I think that what they do is very THEM. When you go to a Tim Burton/Johnny Depp movie, to expect anything other than that would be an unfair expectation.

Whether or not that’s a good thing is debatable. As a director or actor you want to continually expand your craft , but these two seem pretty content sticking with what they know.

A: So then applying that to Dark Shadows, and especially after Alice in Wonderland, is this one film too many? Or did you enjoy the movie for what it was?

S: I enjoyed the movie for what it was! Even though they all seem to kind of fall along the same lines – not a ton of creative differences in their movies – it was still entertaining. It's definitely campy, but in my belief, that’s what they do, especially with movies like Dark Shadows and Alice in Wonderland. These movies are purely for entertainment, they’re not made necessarily to make you think.

I would actually argue that Burton and Depp are two of the last filmmakers that don’t have a ton of an agenda.

A: I agree with you, Dark Shadows was very entertaining and it was the kind of movie where you go to the theatre to BE entertained and escape the real world. Like many of Burton and Depp’s collaborations, it’s fantastical movie and it’s one where you can tell the people involved had a lot of fun making it.

Now let’s talk specifics: what about the movie was so entertaining, or what did you enjoy the most?

S: Well it was Johnny Depp playing Johnny Depp at his finest.

A: So you don’t see it as a criticism to say that he was basically playing himself or a variation of a character that he’s played before?

S: We have routinely berated other actors for playing themselves (see: our review of Safe) but with Johnny it’s different. It could be because I would drop you in a second if he came to our door, or it could be that I don’t feel like he takes himself too seriously. Again, going back to that they create their film for entertainment.

A: Ok, so back to what you were saying about the movie…

S: It’s a funny movie! Now, not knowing much at all about the storyline it was kind of nice. I didn’t feel like I needed to compare it to anything that came previously. The cast, as we predicted, worked perfectly. And while it was a very strange movie, I had fun!

What about you? What do you think?

A: Obviously I’m going to be a little biased because Johnny’s my boy, but I honestly thought this was a very solid movie. It was funny a lot of times (some great, quick comments including one about Chloe Grace Moretz's (Let Me In) Carolyn), it had a lot of horror film elements in it that I loved, and while it was a little all over the place at times, I feel that this movie isn’t as bad as the trailers, commercials or other reviews I’ve read have made it out to be.

Yes, Johnny is basically playing a character he’s played before in other films (but this time he’s a vampire from the 1700s!), but I don’t see that as a drawback. People go to Johnny Depp movies BECAUSE of characters like this – why else would Alice in Wonderland make over a billion dollars worldwide?

S: I would agree with you. You know what kind of character you’re going to get, and true fans will go see this movie not for the story but to see him. That all being said, while I did love the elements of horror, it makes you jumpy without ever actually expecting horror, I do believe that the storyline was a little weak. I understand that there were over a thousand episodes of Dark Shadows the television series but I feel like it could have been condensed a little better.

A: I will give you that. The story is the thing that’s all over the place, ranging from Barnabas being turned into a vampire, to his waking up in 1972 and being a fish out of water, to a love story, a revenge story, and then it finishes as this straight up monster movie. It’s weird and almost doesn’t know what it wants to be.

But that brings me back to what we’ve been saying: it’s an entertaining movie. The fish out of water parts totally work and are funny, the first act of the movie is an excellent horror film (or at least have the makings of one), and the last act is a pretty good -looking action piece (save for a one instance of special effects I won’t say here). I'd actually say a lot of this film reminded me of Burton's Beetlejuice, but with better special effects.

Before we end this, I briefly want to echo your earlier sentiment that the casting choices worked well, but I felt like some of the actors got short shrift. Like Michelle Pfeiffer (Batman Returns) didn’t have a whole lot to do other than repeatedly walk down the master staircase in dramatic fashion, and Johnny Lee Miller (Dexter) might as well not have even been in the film his character is so unimportant.

S: Agreed. I think they should have promoted Gulliver McGrath’s David, the young boy, because next to Barnabas and Carolyn, he’s the most important member of the Collins family.

Ok! Well I think we can agree on one thing for certain – it’s an entertaining movie to go see!

A: Yeah, if you go into it expecting a masterpiece or some awesome new take on the vampire genre, you’ll be disappointed. Go into it expecting a Burton/Depp film and enjoy it for what it is. We certainly did.

S: In the end we’d say it’s a good way to kill the afternoon!

(Out of Five Clapboards)

Our Preview of This Week's New Releases (for Friday, May 11th)

Andrew: Hello readers! It's time for our weekly preview of the new theatrical releases coming out on Friday. Last week's preview was all about The Avengers because for all intents and purposes it was the only new wide release last week. This week isn't much different. While there are a few films coming out in limited release (a couple of which we'll briefly touch on towards the end), this week's only wide release of note is the new Tim Burton/Johnny Depp collaboration, Dark Shadows.

Dark Shadows is Burton's film adaptation the popular 1960's soap opera of the same name starring the late Jonathan Frid as a vampire named Barnabas Collins. In the new film, Barnabas (Depp) is an aristocrat from the 1700s who, after ticking off a witch, is turned into a vampire and buried for 200 years. He awakens to find himself in 1972 and that his ancestors have basically ruined the family's wealth and are an ecclectic bunch of weirdos.

Sarah, I think we've made it well-known on our blog that we're pretty big Johnny Depp fans, so on a scale of 1 to 10, how excited are we about Dark Shadows?

Sarah: I would have to say that I'm at about an eight on the scale. While Johnny Depp looks pretty hilarious is a typically dark fashion only to be brought about by Tim Burton, I am not super familiar with the story so I really don't know exactly what to expect. What about you?

Official Trailer for Dark Shadows

A: I'm fairly excited for it because I'm a big fan of Burton and Depp's prior movies - particularly Edward Scissorhands, Ed Wood and Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (and yes, even Alice in Wonderland).

So I'm very interested to see their newest film for that reason alone, but also because I'm interested in seeing a film adaptation of the old Dark Shadows television show. I haven't seen any episodes of it either, only a clip your mom showed us on YouTube once, but just from that clip I could tell why Depp and Burton have a passion for the show and why they'd want to make it into a film of their own.

What I'm curious about is not only Depp's portrayal of Barnabas Collins, but how the rest of this A-list cast fairs. Your thoughts on the cast?

S: Oh yes, even from that short clip you could tell that this was definitely something up Burton and Depp's alley. It's dark with strange looking costumes and a lead that would fit perfectly with Depp's slightly morbid sense of humor.

Yea, the cast is killer. You have all of Burton's favorites (such as his partner, Helena Bonham Carter) and even some new ones that seem like they will fit right in with the rest of the cast. Chloe Grace Moretz looks like she will steal the show from Depp and this role might just solidify her as Hollywood's next go-to gal for all the movies. She has already starred with some big names (Nicolas Cage, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ben Kingsley) and is set to be alongside the likes of Blake Lively and Alec Baldwin this year in Hick.

What do you think of the cast? It's the typical Burton cast. Does that bother you at all?

A: I agree with your sentiment on Moretz, she's been great in Let Me In and Kick-Ass, and I know she's already been cast as the lead in the remake of Stephen King's Carrie, so you're spot on with her being a hot property in Hollywood.

I like the rest of the cast, too, I'm just worried about how much screentime they'll all get and how they'll work together. I think Michelle Pfeiffer as Elizabeth Collins Stoddard, the Collins family matriarch, was a stroke of genius from the outset, and I've enjoyed seeing what possibilities Eva Green can bring from a comedic standpoint as the film's antagonist, Angelique Bouchard, the witch who turns Barnabas into a vampire in the first place.

S: Yeah, and I do think this movie will have some unexpected laughs that we haven't seen yet in the trailers! I'm excited to see it and it will be a great review to add to our list!

So what else is gracing the big screen this weekend?

A: Well other than Dark Shadows, a couple of films coming out in limited release that have caught our eye are the new Eva Mendes film Girl in Progress and the aforementioned Chloe Grace Moretz film Hick.
Girl in Progress stars Eva Mendes as a woman who got pregnant as a teenager, and now that her daughter is also a teenager, she still hasn't completely grown up and it affects her daughter in the same ways her own absentee mother did. Honestly I'm probably butchering how best to describe this movie, so I suggest watching the trailer below, which is quite good.

Official Trailer for Girl in Progress

 Hick, on the other hand, stars Moretz as a teenage runaway who becomes involved with some shady characters while on the road, including Blake Lively as a con artist, Eddie Redmayne (My Week with Marilyn) as a potentially dangerous drifter, and the always awesome Alec Baldwin. Full disclosure, we were hooked by the trailer (that you can view below), and now I'm even more intrigued now that I know it currently has a 0% Fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes! How can this film be that bad??? I must know.

Official Trailer for Hick

So really, that sums up the few movies coming out this weekend that have caught our eye. I can personally guarantee that we will be seeing Dark Shadows and that review will be up this weekend. For both Sarah and I here at Two Tickets For..., as always, thanks for reading!

From the Streets, Back to School: Our Review of "21 Jump Street" (2012)

Directed By: Phil Lord & Chris Taylor (Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs)

Starring: Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum, Ice Cube

Rating: R for crude and sexual content, pervasive language, drug material, teen drinking and some violence

Synopsis: Schmidt (Hill) and Jenko (Tatum) are a pair of underachieving police officers who went to high school together. After screwing up their first arrest, they're reassigned to the revived 21 Jump Street unit and sent as undercovers officers to a local high school to bring down a growing drug ring. Alas, 7 years after graduating high school themselves, things are not as they remember them.

REVIEW

Andrew: Hello readers! It's been almost a week since our last review, and we apologize for that, but I think the wait was worth it because Sarah and I saw 21 Jump Street this afternoon. Starring Jonah Hill (Moneyball) and Channing Tatum (The Vow) and based off the old television show that jump-started a young Johnny Depp's career, we've been waiting a long time for this film, haven't we Sarah?

Sarah: Yea we have! From the first time we saw the trailer we were like, "We gotta see that!" And I don't know about you, but I think it was AWESOME!

A: I know we agree a lot more than we disagree, but I can’t agree with you more here. I also can't stress this enough, readers - 21 Jump Street is the funniest movie I've seen in theatres since The Hangover. And honestly, because of the script, the performances and the organic nature of the humor in this film, I might say it's better.

S: I have to agree with you! The chemistry between Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum was perfect. The classic "used-to-be-nerdy" guy and the original jock teaming up against the bad guys but in such a great way! I love how they make no bones about the fact that it is a homage to the original TV show. Now, there are a ton of fun moments in this movie that we will not be giving away in this review. It is so clever that you all really have to go see it for yourselves.

A: There are countless things in this movie that had me laughing out loud, and if we were sitting closer to the aisle I might have been rolling in it, that's how funny this film is.

And you're SPOT ON about Hill and Tatum's chemistry. This movie wouldn't have been nearly as good if it weren't the two of them, but they were SO funny playing off of each other. We've known Hill is funny for a while, and he's great in it, but Tatum absolutely kills it. Playing the dumb jock with a heart of gold, his facial expressions and delivery are impeccable.

I also love that they took an original concept and turned it on its head. In the beginning of the movie Hill's the outcast and Tatum is the popular guy, and when they get assigned to the 21 Jump Street squad and are sent undercover into high school again, their roles flip because of their incompetence. And it's a stroke of genius.

S: It really was a stroke of genius. I will say, I wasn't laughing as much as Andrew was. I did feel that they gave away a lot of the funny parts in the trailer, but they play into the movie really well. The set-ups for the jokes are awesome! Definitely going to get some one-liners out of this movie.

And this is really the first time that we are seeing a skinny Jonah Hill hit the big screen and I gotta say, I don't hate it! I don't look at him and go, "oh he's just funny because he's the lovable chunky kid" anymore. He is just continuing to show that he has some serious movie chops.

A: I do think it might be fair to say this film may be funnier for the male crowd simply because of the kind of humor it uses, but I think it's funny all-around as well. It has funny moments were it's a satire (i.e. jokes about modern day things) and moments were it's a parody (like the over-the-top action sequences and the guys' reactions to said sequences, or music that sounds like a Michael Bay movie at points).

It all works. I could gush on and on about this movie but I think we've said more than enough to boil it down and say: just go see it in theatres. Please.

S: Yes, see this movie. It's really fun and I would have to venture a guess that we will be buying this on DVD when it comes out.

A: Oh I guarantee it.

(out of 5)