Bay's Latest Robot Film Might Be Worst of the Bunch: Our Review of "Transformers: Age of Extinction" (2014)

Directed By: Michael Bay (Pain & Gain) 

Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Stanley Tucci, Kelsey Grammer

Rating: PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action, language and brief innuendo

Run Time: 2 hours, 45 minutes

Synopsis: 5 years after the destruction of Chicago, all Transformers are in hiding as they're hunted down one by one by a rogue Transformer called Lockdown and a black ops team headed by a shadowy CIA agent (Grammer). When a nearly broke inventor named Cade Yeager fixes up a broken down semi-truck and discovers its actually Autobot leader Optimus Prime, he unwittingly makes his family the prime target of those who've been searching for Optimus.

REVIEW

Andrew: Hello readers! This past weekend Sarah and I went against our better judgment and decided to shell out our hard-earned disposable income to see the latest installment in Michael Bay's immensely profitable toy commercial/product placement Transformers series, Transformers:Age of Extinction. If you couldn't tell from that opening sentence, this is not going to be a positive review.

Sarah, I'll admit as much that I found, and still find, the first Transformers movie to be good and entertaining. But the second and third entries in this series......not so much. So we obviously weren't expecting too much from this film. So with that said, was Age of Extinction worse, equal, or better than the two films that came before it?

Sarah: So I really wanted to like this one. I was hoping it was going to be a total reboot. And ooooooh it was not. It fell right in line with the horrible dribble that preceded it and I'm going to throw out that it was the worst of the bunch. If I had wanted to watch a two-and-a-half hour commercial I would have stayed home and turned on the Home Shopping Network. The groans that were issued during this movie were far, far too many. Just.....the worst. What did you think?

A: I'm still not gonna go so far as to say it's the worst of the series - need I remind you that Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen had giant Transformers testicles dangling over the Egyptian pyramids? But it comes darn close to taking the crown. There are so many bad things about this movie that I don't even know where to start.

Fee Fi Fo Fum, Bryan Singer's Latest Is Just Ho Hum: Our Review of "Jack the Giant Slayer" (2013)

Directed By: Bryan Singer (X-Men) 

Starring: Nicholas Hoult, Eleanor Tomlinson, Ewan McGregor, Stanley Tucci, Bill Nighy, Ian McShane

Rating: PG-13 for intense scenes of fantasy action violence, some frightening images and brief language

Run Time: 1 hour, 54 minutes

Synopsis: Young Jack (Hoult) takes some "magic beans" from a friar one day, but accidentally lets one get wet, causing an enormous beanstalk to sprout all the way to the land above the clouds where giants roam. Alas, a runaway princess was sheltering away from the rain in his house when it happens, forcing Jack to join the King's Elite Guard in a rescue attempt, and stop the king's adviser from using the giants to usurp the throne. 

REVIEW

Andrew: Hello readers! Earlier this week Sarah and I saw the new fantasy-filled action film for the whole family, Jack the Giant Slayer, starring Nicholas Hoult (Warm Bodies), Ewan McGregor (The Impossible), Stanley Tucci (The Hunger Games), Bill Nighy (The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel) and relative newcomer Eleanor Tomlinson.

Sarah: It's a pretty big cast!

A: A big cast for a big tent-pole film, and most notably this is the latest directorial effort from Bryan Singer, of X-Men and The Usual Suspects fame. We've seen the trailers and the promotions for this movie for a while now and to be honest, it didn't really look that good to me.

S: No, I would agree with you somewhat. It seemed more fun to me, more of a no-brainer action flick than anything else. This didn't look like one where you would be forced as an audience to think very much. I don't think the trailers did a very good job promoting what the movie was going to be like.