A Six Pack Of... The Most Messed Up Movies Andrew's Ever Seen

Andrew: Hello readers! We're bringing you something a little different tonight in lieu of a review or any movie news. Our friend Nick over at The Cinematic Katzenjammer is hosting a blogathon this month where he's asked fellow bloggers to post about the most messed up movies they've ever seen and share it with him.

So we're taking this opportunity to introduce a new column we like to call A Six Pack Of... where, you guess it, we'll pick a topic and talk about six things about that topic (like I'm sure we'll eventually get to A Six Pack Of... Our Favorite Johnny Depp Movies, *wink*).

We're starting this new column off by getting into the Halloween spirit, as well as the spirit of Nick's blogathon, with A Six Pack Of... The Most Messed Up Movies Andrew Has Ever Seen:

1.) Haute Tension a.k.a. High Tension (2003) – My introduction to the New French Extremity movement, when Alexandre Aja's High Tension was first released on DVD in the U.S. in 2005 it became the first DVD I purchased on reputation alone and I’m glad I did. Not only was I horrified by what The Killer does to Alex’s family, but I was totally caught off-guard by the conclusion, plus this was the film that introduced me to my favorite active band, Muse. But yeah, The Killer’s introduction, the havoc he wreaks in the cottage and how he uses his circular saw are scenes I’ll never forget. 

2.) Inside (2007) – Another New French Extremity film, I first saw this movie in a Modern Horror Films class in college, and I vividly remember two particular things about it to this day: 1.) My professor showed it with 45 minutes left in class and said anyone who didn’t think they could stomach it could leave early, and the entire auditorium left except for me, three guys and one girl; and 2.) The climactic scene where the crazy woman gives an impromptu C-section to the pregnant Sarah, taking Sarah’s baby for her own. 

3.) Audition (1999) – This was my introduction to Takashi Miike and is only the 2nd horror movie I bought on DVD on reputation. Boy was I glad I did, as I loved the drawn out set-up, only for Miike to ratchet up the disturbing action to 11 in the final third of the film. I still haven’t forgotten the sound the film’s antagonist, Asami, makes when using her needles, nor the sight of one of her earlier victims trying to eat what she gives him for food.

4a.) Imprint (2006) & 4b.) Cigarette Burns (2005) -  I'm cheating a little bit here by including these two entries in Showtime's Masters of Horror anthology but they deserve to be lumped in together. I had read about how Showtime decided to never air Takashi Miike's entry in the anthology, Imprint, in the United States which naturally piqued my interest. For most of the film I wondered why, because there wasn’t much I hadn’t seen before, but when the conclusion comes around it becomes abundantly clear why Showtime made their decision. It’s not common for me to literally say, “Wtf?” when watching a horror film, but this one did. (I think my friend Eileen, who watched it with me, would certainly agree.) With John Carpenter's Cigarette Burns, much like Imprint, while I enjoyed where the film was heading, I wasn’t really horrified by what was happening until the climax when someone uses a projector in a way I’ve never seen before. 

 

5.) The Last House on the Left (Original 1972 version and the 2009 remake) – I've seen both Wes Craven's original version (his first directorial effort, as it were) and the remake, and in both the infamous rape scene is obviously disturbing for the lingering shots and realistic depiction, but it’s actually the acts of revenge Mari’s parents exact on their child’s murderers that stuck with me, particularly when Mari’s mother turns one of the killer’s into less of a man. (It’s the best way I can put it.)

6.) I Spit On Your Grave (2010 remake version) – Much like The Last House on the Left, the rape scene in this film is tough to handle. I haven’t seen the original 1978 version, which I’ve heard is just as tough to watch, but I’d find it hard to believe the ways Jennifer kills her assailants could be any more creative or messed up as here. Again, the most messed up part is when Jennifer turns one of her rapists into less of a man.

Honorable Mentions: 

Teeth (2007) – Vagina dentata! ‘Nuff said. (Anyone else noticing a trend here with what I find to be truly horrifying?)

Saw (2004) -  I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that I didn’t truly start my love affair with horror movies until my senior year of high school in 2004 when I heard about this independent horror film that was causing waves on the internet for reasons we all probably know by now. Of course I had seen other horror movies and enjoyed them, but this was the first time I saw a movie that made me go “Wtf?!” 

Cabin Fever (2002) and Hostel (2005) by Eli Roth get honorable mention, too, for making me cringe many, many times each time I watch them.

P.S. We'd like to thank Nick for giving us the thumbs up on sort of adopting his Pick Six columns. Also, if there are any movies you've seen that aren't on this list that YOU found to be messed up, let us know in the comments! I may not have seen it yet and I'd love to hear suggestions!

Photo Courtesies: Cinematic Katzenjammer, IMDb, Tumblr, Wikipedia